this time around, I am a little more prepared. For once. I actually had 3 songs I had to choose from...and trust me, it was a hard choice. But in the end, the song that I chose to "review" (I seriously need to find a better word...) was this amazing song by one of my favorite bands: Flyleaf.
Cassie is not a new song. I think I was 11 or 12 when I heard it for the first time, and quite honestly, it rather freaked me out. I was a young, naive kid, still very sheltered from many things, and when I heard the words "Cassie pulled the trigger," I immediately turned the radio off. What the heck was this song about? This was a Christian station I was listening too! It wasn't til later that I heard the story behind the song: that it was about a girl who confessed to believing in God at a school shooting, fully knowing that it meant her death, and thus ended up dying. Tragic story. I remember getting goosebumps. At that age, that was probably the first time I had even heard of school shootings. The gravity of it all didn't sink in until I was older, but still, I was half-creeped out, half obsessed with this song. It attracted me and repulsed me at the same time.
Now that I'm older, it has a whole new meaning and appeal to me. Not only is Flyleaf one of my favorite bands ever, but I am quite honest in saying that this is my favorite song of theirs. Why? Because it made me think about stuff that I didn't want to dwell on. I was (and still am) the type of person to avoid things that make me uncomfortable or depress me. If it messes with my perfectly formed bubble, I go out of my way to avoid it. Trust me, if I see someone I don't want to talk to/make eye contact with in a store, I will walk around the entire store, just to keep from encountering them for all of maybe a minute. It's rather pathetic.
School shooting was one of the subjects that I liked to tiptoe around. I didn't want to think about it, and I was content to stay in my own little naive bubble for as long as I could. But then this song kind of popped that bubble when I was 15 years old. By chance, it came on the radio after my not hearing it for several months, and when I heard it again, I felt like a nuclear bomb had exploded in my mind.
"Do you believe in God?" The shooter asked Cassie. "Say yes to pull the trigger."
Those words nailed themselves onto my mind. say yes to pull the trigger. What a terrible thought--deny God, you live. Confess your faith, you die. While I was horrified at this, I didn't realize that this terrible thing goes all the way back to the apostles and the martyrs. This was the kind of thing they faced back then. This was the kind of thing Christians in foreign countries were dealing with--not just in the past, but in the present. In the now, people were being killed for believing in God.
Boy, do I have it lucky, was the first thought that went through my mind. And then...
would I able able to do what Cassie did? would I have that courage and selflessness?
I honestly didn't know the answer.
I still think about this on a daily basis. This is one of the most played songs on my music playlist...I just can't get enough of it. What would I do in that situation? if it was me and my life in danger...what would I say?
Somedays I think I have the answer. Other days, I am ashamed to say, I'm still confused and weak. But I never stop thinking about it.
Cassie changed my life. What about you? What song has changed your life? How so? Tell me below! I love getting comments from y'all. :)
hope y'all have a great week!