a year ago, the biggest thing I took away from my summer was to not just barely get by. I didn't want to be proud of just doing what I had to do and being stuck there.
right now, that's where I'm at again. And as much as I want to mentally beat myself up about my supposed "failures," I have to keep telling myself that I'm not as screwed up as I could be. And honestly--I can be proud of just getting by. I'm not laying on a couch, reluctant to do anything. I'm surviving. And if just getting by is my version of living right now, I'm going to deal with the suckiness and push through it until I'm doing better. That's my goal right now.
I have no clue if that made any sense whatsoever to you guys. Sorry if it didn't, but that's what's been flowing through my mind this whole weekend.
As you all probably noticed, I didn't blog between recaps. Not for want or trying. I wrote like three different blog posts, but by the time I finished, I was so exhausted I couldn't even try to edit them or anything. I just went to bed.
I'm going to be better this week, but no promises. It's going to be a busy couple of days.
but I get to see twenty one pilots with my favourite people, so it's all good, right?
|throwback to the last time <3|
my recaps these days are super boring. I apologize. But once again, when you do nothing but sleep, eat, and do homework, there's not a lot to talk about.
I'm reading Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock again right now, and the feels will get me yet. I've also started Me Being Me is Exactly as Insane as You Being You, by Todd Hasklowy, and although the format is taking some getting used to, I approve of this Darren kid and his lists. I like it enough that you guys should check it out. I have a book-list post for Tuesday, hopefully, so that's even more books for you guys to investigate, but these books all have a theme and it's awesome. I really enjoyed writing it.
Good to You just came on Spotify. Thanks, music, I didn't need emotions right now. I've got stuff to do. Scram.
This video made me laugh. A lot. I was having a really rough day on Friday, and this was one of the many things that brought a smile back to my face.
I really love my friends, okay? I may not have a ton, and they may not be the people I assumed would be my buddies, but I am so blessed to know and love the people in my life. Whether they send me encouraging words, make me smile because of crazy hashtags, or just make my heart happy when they walk in the room, I cannot thank God enough for putting them in my life. Once again, I am so blessed.
School...school has been hard. I'm already ready to be done. My family and I are talking about whether it's a good idea to keep on attending or to move back home. Right now, I want to either take a semester off or take online classes, but we're giving it time and prayer. I'm just praying that I'll make it through the semester without relapsing. I'm doing so much better health-wise, but fibromyalgia and stress do not work together. And I'm stressed.
boy am I stressed.
|my babies understand my stress|
I think after this is done I'm going to make some paleo hot chocolate mix. I've been craving a cozy sweater and a mug of something chocolatey, but because of the whole dairy thing it's been a little tough. I did discover that my school's cafe uses soy milk, so I can get some of the drinks there. Yay for little rays of sunshine and chai tea!
have a slice of my Pinterest!
love you all, and I hope you have a spectacular weekend!!!