Sunday, September 20, 2015

week by week #8 // not so much a failure

I'm a big work in progress, yeah?


a year ago, the biggest thing I took away from my summer was to not just barely get by. I didn't want to be proud of just doing what I had to do and being stuck there.

right now, that's where I'm at again. And as much as I want to mentally beat myself up about my supposed "failures," I have to keep telling myself that I'm not as screwed up as I could be. And honestly--I can be proud of just getting by. I'm not laying on a couch, reluctant to do anything. I'm surviving. And if just getting by is my version of living right now, I'm going to deal with the suckiness and push through it until I'm doing better. That's my goal right now.

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I have no clue if that made any sense whatsoever to you guys. Sorry if it didn't, but that's what's been flowing through my mind this whole weekend.

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tah-daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh

As you all probably noticed, I didn't blog between recaps. Not for want or trying. I wrote like three different blog posts, but by the time I finished, I was so exhausted I couldn't even try to edit them or anything. I just went to bed.

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I'm going to be better this week, but no promises. It's going to be a busy couple of days.

but I get to see twenty one pilots with my favourite people, so it's all good, right?

throwback to the last time <3

my recaps these days are super boring. I apologize. But once again, when you do nothing but sleep, eat, and do homework, there's not a lot to talk about.

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I'm reading Forgive Me, Leonard Peacock again right now, and the feels will get me yet. I've also started Me Being Me is Exactly as Insane as You Being You, by Todd Hasklowy, and although the format is taking some getting used to, I approve of this Darren kid and his lists. I like it enough that you guys should check it out. I have a book-list post for Tuesday, hopefully, so that's even more books for you guys to investigate, but these books all have a theme and it's awesome. I really enjoyed writing it.

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Good to You just came on Spotify. Thanks, music, I didn't need emotions right now. I've got stuff to do. Scram.

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This video made me laugh. A lot. I was having a really rough day on Friday, and this was one of the many things that brought a smile back to my face.


I really love my friends, okay? I may not have a ton, and they may not be the people I assumed would be my buddies, but I am so blessed to know and love the people in my life. Whether they send me encouraging words, make me smile because of crazy hashtags, or just make my heart happy when they walk in the room, I cannot thank God enough for putting them in my life. Once again, I am so blessed.

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School...school has been hard. I'm already ready to be done. My family and I are talking about whether it's a good idea to keep on attending or to move back home. Right now, I want to either take a semester off or take online classes, but we're giving it time and prayer. I'm just praying that I'll make it through the semester without relapsing. I'm doing so much better health-wise, but fibromyalgia and stress do not work together. And I'm stressed.

boy am I stressed.

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my babies understand my stress

I think after this is done I'm going to make some paleo hot chocolate mix. I've been craving a cozy sweater and a mug of something chocolatey, but because of the whole dairy thing it's been a little tough. I did discover that my school's cafe uses soy milk, so I can get some of the drinks there. Yay for little rays of sunshine and chai tea!

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sweater goals

have a slice of my Pinterest!
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love you all, and I hope you have a spectacular weekend!!!

6 comments:

  1. Your so lucky you got to see Twenty One Pilots, I wanted to see them so bad. They never seem to come to Canada :)
    Keep surviving that is all that counts.
    :D

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    1. dude I bet Canada gets neglected with bands and concerts and such...which is super silly because Amercian bands are literally a hop, skip, and a jump away from being there. *sigh* well, I'll take really good pictures so you can enjoy it through my experience, I guess. ;)

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  2. Oh gosh, you get to see Twenty One Pilots??? I'm crying because they were in my city a few nights ago and I couldn't go because by the time I saw it tickets were sold out and ughhhhh I have all the anxiety over that because they're basically life right now. :P And I feel ya on the school/anxiety combination because let's face it, it's the worst thing ever invented. So I'm sending lots of prays and mental chocolate/hugs your way, even if that's slightly awkward because I haven't been reading you blog very long and we haven't ever talked. :P

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    Replies
    1. awwwwww thank you. I don't reallycare if you've only been following for just a little bit; encouraging words and smiles are always amazing. And I definitely need all the chocolate I can get (curse you, chocolate, for not always being dairy-free...)

      dude that had to suck. I remember being that way when Oh Honey was near my town and I didn't find out how amazing they were until after the concert. Now I know better. :P

      thank you for commenting! made my day a little brighter! :)

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  3. this is so precious awww I love you:) you're on my prayer list as always.

    Also, Im jealous you saw TOP, but also I think my friend from church went to that show, as well as my sisters best online friend. crazy.

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  4. I'm sorry you're in a rough spot right now. :( You can get through it! This time will pass and it'll just a be memory. *hugs* And I really like reading all of the quotes you post in this updates. ^ ^

    storitorigrace.blogspot.com

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the best way to make me smile is to comment. or to send me a basket full of kittens and dark chocolate. whatever works for you.