...perfect is a relative term...

insecurity.

what is it?

my dictionary says that insecurity is a feeling of uncertainty, a lack of confidence, or anxiety about yourself. Coming from a teenaged girl, I know what it's like to have insecurity. Some days, I'm fine. Other times, the pressure I feel inside is overwhelming. I always can feel under my skin some ounce of anxiety, and I'm always wondering what circumstance will force it out of its hiding place.

I must also admit that, though I still have insecurity about myself, I've gotten so much better over the years. As a middle schooler/young teenager, I felt concious about everything--as most every girl does. I struggled with body image, self-worth, and confidence daily. I looked at myself in the mirror some days and felt like dirt. It was awful. 



i don't think that ten year old me could imagine what 17 year old me would be like. I don't think she would believe that I'm overcoming my crippling fear of talking to people. I don't think she would believe the amount of times I've been up on stages in front of people and not passed out from panic. I KNOW she wouldn't believe that some days I still look in the mirror and feel like dirt, but don't care. 


the biggest part of overcoming insecurity is not caring.

you know how people are always harping on how 'society is ruining our girls by telling them that they have look beautiful all the time and be skinny and have a hot boyfriend and be popular and pretty?' And how they usually respond to all that by telling the girls: "Don't worry what others think about you--just be yourself."

i think both statements are equally hurtful.

society is more than a little messed up. There aren't enough good role models to go around. But when you tell a girl to "just be herself," it's almost as bad as telling her to model herself after some pop culture idol. If I am any sort of an example, most teenaged girls aren't sure who they are. They're still figuring out how they want to live, who they want to be around, and what they want to do. They don't have the confidence of a grown woman, nor the independence of a college-aged girl. They're in that messy "in-between" stage of life.

so when you tell her to be herself, you're basically telling her to be insecure. To be unsure. To be confused.

so what should you do to actually be yourself? To overcome insecurity? To get past all that? 


don't give a heck. don't care. don't worry.

 i'm a worrywort. Always have been, always will be. It's second nature for me to worry over something that might not even happen. I always invest myself too much in things, and thus end up hurt worse than most people would be. 

i think the best advice I could give to someone like me who's struggled/struggling with insecurity is this: just live. Don't fret about what you're going to do for the rest of your life. Don't beat yourself up for the number on the scale. Don't compare yourself to other people. And don't try to just be you if you're not 100% of who the person you are going to be.

just live.

i'd like to think that I've lived my life to the fullest these past few years. I've shattered parts of my comfort zone, I've lost some of my self-conciousness, and I've grown stronger. I think I'm starting to figure out who the real me is.

but I wouldn't have been able to get this far if  I hadn't given myself a kick in the pants and started living. 


i'm not perfect (HECK NO!!!) I still think I look great in the mirror, then take a picture of myself and think "Oh, gosh, no." I compare myself to my friends daily, and I have weeks where I just don't want to get out of bed. I'm never going to be perfect.

and I think the key to all this is knowing that...and being okay with it.  


Comments

  1. Oh! I just read this...and it was something that I really needed to hear. I don't know why I didn't see it sooner, but in a weird way, it's almost like I was meant to find it now.

    I like your advice. And I think I need(ed) it. :) Thank you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's weird how God has stuff happen at just the right time. I think it's kinda like his way of giving us a hug.

      Glad my words could help you. I know it helped me to get it out. :)

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