blending in so you won't even know me

it's been a long day.

a long weekend, actually.

life happened, plans changed, and we've bounced back slowly, steadily. I haven't felt this physically and emotionally tired in a long time...not to mention the fact that I feel a bit like I'm living on Hoth, what with all the snow and ice and in general COLDNESS going on here.

I love winter, people. I'll be the first person to admit it. But when I say winter, I don't usually mean -4 degree Fahrenheit. Brrrrrrrr....

actually, it being this cold has taken me back to when I was about 13 and, for some odd reason, I loved walking around outside when it was around 40 degrees--in my bare feet. I'd grab my poncho and mp3 player, and I'd walk the perimeter of our yard, lost in my own thoughts. The music varied, but typically I would listen to Relient K, Thousand Foot Krutch, some Red, and a lot of He Is We. (what can I say, it's like a guilty pleasure for me).

 Sometimes I'd plot out storylines, other times I'd day dream, and still other times I'd just sing along to the music under my breath.  I miss those days. Especially right now, when I get cold just thinking about going outside.

I've come to realize over my exhausting weekend that my headphones are my defense. I can see everything going on around me, but I'm excluded enough that the exposure doesn't wear on me as much. I'm alone in my mind, but I still am around the people I love and cherish.

music is the bridge. I can see the outside world, but once the music starts, I'm just an observer. And I'm okay with that.

because I want to be alone, but I don't ever want to feel lonely.


  1. This is just about the best description of my love for music I've ever heard. I try my best not to do it to much because it's a little bit rude, but I know when I need it and it's so helpful.

  2. Yeahhh...over the past few months I've come to understand what you mean about music being an escape and a way to become an observer only. It makes recluses of us all...but it also inspires, re-energizes, and refreshes too.
    I love all of your music posts. Every time I read one I find new stuff to listen to. :D

    Love and prayers,

    1. I'm glad I could widen your music experience, lol. :)

      love you too. *hugs*


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