take over


it smells like pumpkins in here. I think my author's gone off the deep end with orange foods, because that's basically all she can eat right now. lovely. 

whatever. I don't care what she's doing (that much...it concerns me a little bit that she's crying over pictures of Korean singers in white suits and...orange chokers? what? and she says my obsession with Halsey is off-the-wall.) today, I'm taking over this blog, because it's the last day before she takes over my life.


I haven't been up to much this past month. basically chilling with my homies (actually not my homies. my friends. that word sucks. don't ever call me your homie) and being force-fed bacon maple donuts by Colt and Riley.

Who is Riley, you're probably wondering. well, you see, we've had a bit of an identity crisis over the past month. one of Ely's characters just didn't feel like herself any more. She'd grown up a lot since her "birth" (okay, to be honest, this is me paraphrasing my author's excuses...they don't make much sense, do they? also--"birth"? really?) so we suddenly had to make a change. 

and my author ended up naming my friend--not homie--after her annoying dog. 

yeah. not really sure what to think about that one.

so yeah. Sam is no more. Riley has taken her place. they're basically the same person, but with little tweaks and changes. Also, her name changed. but that's a little more obvious. 

so tomorrow it all begins, right? I'm dreading it and expecting great things from it at the same time. funny how that is. I hope it's the last night I'll having to go through the writing process, but you never know. this could be the first draft to end all edits and rewrites...or I could have to go through 10 more metamorphoses until my ultimate form (that makes me sound like some sort of Pokemon...) 

the writing process is stressful. It feels like my hair is being slowly yanked from my body over the period of several months. My insides get all scrambled, and I rearrange myself multiple times. I grow, regress, and become a different person without even realizing it. Sometimes it's like I can't breathe. And every time we go through it, all the memories get dredged up from the back of my mind again.

yeah...that's the part that I can't stand.

but it's part of what makes me me. I would be a limp jellyfish with no personality and no emotional issues. who wants that in a story? not me. 

so I guess it's worth it.

I trust my author. She's a little weird (*sticks head into the next room* yup. she's still sobbing about the Korean guys...) but I appreciate her. Some days I even love her. She's been through everything with me--every rewrite, every time I have a breakdown, every time she's breaking down but doesn't want to abandon me--she's the real MVP. I don't know what I'd do without her.

so this is my note to her, before the beginning of the end, in hopes that she'll make it through.

you're one weird chick. Colt told me to call you a chick. He says that chicks dig that. I told him he's an idiot. still, however weird you are, no matter how emotional you are over Korean boy bands, no matter how much of a screw up you think you are, I'm proud to be your character. I don't think I could've made it through this with anyone but you. to be quite literal, I would be a completely different person. and as screwed up as I am, I'm proud of who you've made me. I know we're nowhere near the final page--in fact, we've been there before and found it lacking. I'm glad you keep going. I hope you keep on going. I hope you never stop.
please just don't give up. Not just this month, where we're doing the heavy work, but for the rest of the life. never give up on that spark inside of you, no matter how much you distrust it. 
I'll stick you, even when it gets rough. just please stick with me.
I don't know what I would do if you didn't finish my story. 
so do it, or I'm going to restrict your internet privileges and there will be no more Korean boy bands. so there. 

Matty (Colt wrote that. I'm Matthew. Not Matty. But he's insistent since you call me your baby or something.)

well, that was a very anti-climatic takeover. I hope all of you who are doing the month of torment as well have no writer's block, no nagging plot bunnies, and no out of character characters (you might think I'm writer because I know so much about writing...nope. Ely just talks her brain out to me about everything. lovely.) wish me luck as I undergo another transformation.

maybe it won't be so painful this time. 

maybe we can finally make sense of it all now. 

happy Halloween, you guys. welcome to the end. 

this blogpost was very seriously taken over by Matthew North, who is a literal stick in the mud (shut up Colt).
(also, my author spent half of this post nagging me about gifs and pictures and stuff. I am not about that ish. here's a picture of me. and that's all you get. weirdos. )

hahahahaha suckers. I am also not about that picture life


  1. Love this, Matthew you are awesome.

  2. This is wonderful and adorable. <3

  3. This is really precious. This touched me. Love it. ^ ^ You're awesome, Matthew.



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