Tuesday, August 30, 2016

a year in music : viii

I hate that my headphones are the one thing 

that keeps me together

but also

keeps the rest of the world out.

I'm sorry

I want to be with you

but sometimes you are just too loud. 

i. canvas 
[ nu'est ]

ii. hey jude 
[ the beatles ]

iii. the last
[ agust d - explicit ]
if you listen to any of these, PLEASE listen to this one. thank you. <3
[ credit ]

iv. wildfire
[ marianas trench - explicit ]

v. love me do
[ the beatles ]

vi. the sky and the dawn and the sun
[ celtic woman ]

vii. stuck
[ monsta x ]

ehehehe I love this song so much but the lyrics are a TERRIBLE representation of a relationship ew

viii. Teir Abhaile Riu
[ celtic woman ]

ix. whatta man (good man)
[ i.o.i ]

x. whistle
[ blackpink ]

xi. love me 
[ the 1975 ]

xii. agust d
[ agust d - explicit ]

xiii. fantasy
[ vixx ]

xiv. so far away
[ agust d ]


Saturday, August 27, 2016

beautiful people : freckles and coffee and my newest fave

this week has been HUGE for writing with the great ones. I've written more in this past week than I wrote in July. yeah. July was THAT bad.

every time I sit down to write I try not to think about the terrible quality of everything I wrote in July...

this week also held another monumental decision regarding the great ones: I added a few new characters. since I've been making some changes with the plot, it came to my attention that my cast of characters was...in a word, selective. I mainly had my Big Three characters, Shiloh, and Linds. And while that was enough for my earlier plots, when roadtrips were happening and there wasn't enough room in the car for any more people, this new concept definitely needs a wider variety of characters to help support it.

and of course I fell in love with one of them--ironically, the one that was supposed to be a sort of antagonist to my faves. now he is a fave and I love writing scenes with him. *shrugs* what can you do?

me at Will now since he's taken Ayden's place as the big meanie. YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BECOME PRECIOUS TO ME

so here I am, sliding into Beautiful People MUCH later than usual, to introduce the lovely Ayden Engle~~

Beautiful People is a blog meme hosted by Skye @ further up and further in and  Cait @ Paper Fury. Every month, they post ten questions to help you get to know your characters better. They can be elusive and enigmatic, but Skye and Cait hope every question they post brings you closer to the answers about your wonderful beautiful people (your characters). 

1. give a brief overview of their looks. (include a photo if you want!)

(I was going to answer this question, but I'm so tired today that my thoughts aren't in order, so here's a nice picture instead. plus all my answers after this are pretty explanatory. *falls asleep mid-shrug*

I couldn't find a picture that suited both my vision of his hair and his freckles so I settled for just the hair ㅠㅠ

2. share a snippet that involves description of their appearance.

'“Will, Nathanael, Luis, Ayden,” Joel rattled off, pointing at the five strangers sitting around the dark room with extremely bored expression. “Showers and toilets in the back; your bunk is here.” He shoved away a pile of random junk, presumably leftovers that every else stored on my painfully thin mattress. The guy above my bunk, with dark curly hair and heavily sprinkled freckles (?),  glared at me like I was the last thing he wanted to see. His t-shirt proclaimed “SOMETHING PUNK ROCK RELATED". Along with his round, wire rimmed glasses, he looked like a tired, African-American version of Harry Potter—although if Shiloh were there, I knew she would say he was a lot better looking than Daniel Radcliffe at any point of his metamorphosis.'

3. what is the first thing people might notice about them?

Ayden has a serious face, which is usually the first thing people observe about him. even when he isn't displeased or upset, he tends to look that way. it's very difficult to get a genuine smile out of him.

4. what are their unique features?

Ayden is biracial, so his skin is a little lighter than his step-brother Nathanael, but his eyes are extremely dark. he also has some impressive freckles, on his face, neck, and hands.

SO CLOSE. just imagine a tad more freckles, a little darker skin, and you've got Ayden in a nutshell!

5. how tall are they? what is their build?

Ayden always seems very tall, but it's mostly just how he presents himself to the room. he's about five foot ten inches. he has an average build.

he would be taller, but he thinks all the coffee he's ingested stunted his growth

6. what is their posture like? how do they usually carry themselves?

when standing, he slouches, but not in a lazy or defensive manner. it's more of his way of saying that he really has no desire to be there. when he walks, Ayden carries himself confidently, with no nonsense in his footsteps.

7. your character has been seen on a "lazy day" (free from usual routine/expectations): what are they wearing and how do they look?

sweat pants and a t-shirt. tennis shoes. he likes looking nice, so even on a lazy day his outfits are semi-put together and definitely clean (and not wrinkled!)

also a huge fan of comfy sweatshirts on any kind of day

8. do they wear glasses, accessories, or jewelry on a regular basis? do they have any clothing/accessory that could be considered their trademark?

Ayden's trademark accessory is his glasses. he has several pairs, but they're all round lenses. he actually needs glasses and isn't just wearing them to be cool.

9. have they ever been bullied or shamed because of their looks? explain!

while growing up, Ayden encountered some judgement because of his mixed race, on both sides of his family and from strangers, so he's a little sensitive when people comment on how different he and Nathanael look.  his freckles also got a lot of attention, and he hates them--even now that he's older and doesn't usually care what snide people say about how he looks.

10. are they happy with how they look? if they could change anything about their appearance, what would it be?  

overall, he likes how he looks--he still has days where he gets frustrated with his body and his heritage, but he's embraced who he is as a person. if he had to change one thing, though, he would definitely do away with his freckles (at which I cry...I love me some freckles...)

he loves da coffeeeeeeeeeeeeee

are you as excited about the addition of Ayden to the great ones as I am? let me tell you, his scenes with Matt and Colt are the greatest, because he's really not sure how Matt hasn't murdered Colt in his sleep yet. I've also been working on his and Nathanael's backstory, and they're going to be good for Matt. they have some big things he needs to hear--not from his friends, from his safety blankets, but from practical strangers.

happy Friday, guys! what do you plan to do this weekend? are you a fan of freckles or nah? love you all!


Wednesday, August 24, 2016

kalani : a scribble

The Kalani family had always been firebringers. All the way back to long gone generations, they'd lived in that sturdy ranch house nestled in the hills a hop, skip, and a jump away from Hualālai. The young boys climbed the mountain with no fear, peering into the crater and sometimes going further into the volcano than any normal human would dare. The girls climbed mountains too, faster than the boys. They stood on top of the world, wind whipping their hair about. No matter what age, skill, or gender, all Kalanis could hold a chunk of molten rock in one hand and a ball of flames in the other.

All except for Lana.

"Maybe if you stare harder it will burst into flames." Josh, a skinny, freckled boy perched on a rounded, smooth rock, watched in curiosity at the girl sitting on the beach, staring intently at a hunk of driftwood.

"Says the white boy." Josh had no powers, other than the uncanny knack he had with macaroni and cheese. Ironically, he could boil water faster than she could. Lana narrowed her eyes at the driftwood, but nothing happened.

How did the rest of the Kalanis do it? Her older brother had lit his own candle at his first birthday part, although he couldn't remember it and Lana serious doubted it was true. Nowadays, Koa could bring fire a second's notice, without even breaking a sweat. "It's like doing a Rubik's cube," he explained one afternoon after a training session that left Lana with mascara streaming down her cheeks and a severe case of the hiccups. "Only you're doing it at the speed of light or something, and that last little click of every piece lining up is what lights your brain on fire."

"That's literally makes no sense," Lana replied. Koa might have been the strongest firebringer of the decade, but he sucked at explanations. Lana, however, might have been the worst firebringer of all time, but at least she was good at Rubik's cubes.

She pulled her favourite cube out of her pocket and fiddled with it absently. Maybe she should try lighting it on fire. Koa did say that items of personal value were easier to ignite. Laughter bubbled up inside her, laughter that was jagged and hurt. It wasn't worth it. Besides, it probably wouldn't work.

She stretched out on the soft beach sand, using Josh's knapsack as a lumpy pillow. The Rubik's cube rested on her stomach as she lazily toyed with it.

Josh winced, rolling off his rock with a grimace. "Is it supposed to rain today?" He limped over, all his weight on his good leg. One painful soccer injury, and suddenly he was the Human Barometer.

Lana shrugged. "An actual storm, or a metaphorical storm? Because if I don't summon at least a flicker by my 16th birthday, my parents are going to lose it." She brushed a curly sprig of hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. Her face remained set in a way that desperately tried to shield the unrest within her. She knew something was there, deep inside her, but she didn't know how to reach it. Everyone thought they did, but nothing ever worked.

Her blood warmed with frustration, and she knelt quickly, staring hard at anything flammable.

Josh sat down next to her. "What is it?"

"I felt hot."

He snorted, and she elbowed him with a murderous scowl--not angry at her best friend, but angry at herself. She was a failure.

"Is it just my imagination, or did it just get a lot colder all of the sudden?" He rubbed his once broken leg, wincing again.

The sky, once soft and blue, had turned dark and solemn while she stared at the wood for hours. Storm clouds rose on the horizon, and they drew closer with every heartbeat. The wind picked up a little, tossing Lana's hair into Josh's face and making him splutter.

Lana leaped to her feet and grabbed his hand. "Come on!" She pulled him to the water, cackling wildly as they ran.

The wind whipped around them, catching at their loose clothing and Lana's long hair, making it even wilder than before. A piece of trash floated atop the increasingly urgent waves, lost to the mercy of the coming storm.

It felt wrong, to look at a piece of debris and understand how it felt.

She knelt to pick it up, then tucked it away in her cargo shorts. The water lapped at her ankles. She took a step farther in. "Come on." Josh stood a foot away, his skinny, fish-belly white toes barely wet. "Let's scream into the storm," she begged, suddenly having to speak around the tightly wound ball of tears gathering in her throat.

He took one look at her and plunged into the water.

The ocean took their legs, up to their knees, and the waves splashed at their waists, hungry for more. Lana didn't dare go any further, however--even if she as at home in the water as she was on land, she knew better than to swim in a storm like this. Still...her body ached with a strange desire to submerge herself, to become one with the raging ocean.

In the ocean, there was no need to start a fire.

"I'M SORRY!" she yelled into the quickly darkening clouds, hoping whatever ancestor that actually cared was listening. "I'M SORRY I'M SHAMEFUL TO YOUR LEGACY!"

Josh squeezed her hand tightly. "I'M SORRY I FAILED MY MATH TEST!"

She whirled to look him in his eyes. His freckles bunched together like confused constellations, as the wind buffeted him back and forth. "You failed a math test?" she asked incredulously.

He looked sheepishly away. "I got a B minus..."

"Oh my gosh." She dropped his hand and cupped her hands around her mouth to shout loudly, "MY BEST FRIEND IS ABSURD!"

"Says the girl who can't light a match!"

He said it with a gentle smile, not meaning any harm, but something huge, something angry, something hot roared within her, swallowing Lana whole. She was burning up, the ocean not even dousing her fire. She had to get rid of this heat, or she would explode.

So she screamed--a wordless, ancient cry, full of pain and angry and resentment.

Then the heavens cracked open, and rain poured from the skies, soaking them both and driving Lana's fire down to a comfortable warmth.

She had squeezed her eyes tightly shut against the the coming tears, but when she opened them, Josh stared at her, wide-eyed and astonished.


"Look at your hands, Lana." His voice was a whisper of hushed awe over the roar of the storm.

When she looked, her jaw dropped open. Pearly opalescent balls of crackling light, somehow both light and dark at the same time, clung to the palms of her hands, sending a tingling sensation through her fingers and up her arms. She wasn't really holding them; they were just there. No matter where or how she moved her hands, they followed.

"Well. Lighting." She swallowed. Josh watched her carefully, no doubt ready to bolt if she started screaming again. "That was...unexpected." She inspected her left hand, which seemed to glow a little hotter. A little tendril of light zapped her on the nose, and she yelped.

"Unexpected, yeah." Josh had a grin on his face she couldn't quite decipher. "So unexpected it was very...shocking."

Lana stared at him for a few seconds, her hands twitching and burning in a painless way, then lunged for him, not caring if she electrocuted him or not.

"I just got my power," she shouted as she chased him up the beach, "And you think it's a good opportunity to make a really lame pun?"

hello all! fun fact about me: one of my absolute favourite series as a kid was built around Hawaiian culture and the islands, and it's still one of my favourite places to read about (I just did a bunch of research on volcanoes and the language to make sure my facts weren't completely made up, and IT WAS THE BEST). this was a little writing exercise I did this morning, based on a prompt about elements, and something possessed me to go back to my reading roots and visit Hawaii again. and you know me--I could hardly pass up an opportunity for a terrible pun! just a fun little one-shot! hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it! <3   

hope you have a great rest of the week! sorry for not blogging as often/as regularly as I usually do! 



Tuesday, August 16, 2016

a novel idea: 20 little things

in a blogpost that I wrote that has yet to see light of day, I said something along the lines that I hardly ever appreciate Colt enough. and it's true. I love that kid. he's good for Matt, he's good for Shiloh, and he's good for my soul. he's been a part of the great ones since the very beginning, ever since the great ones became the great ones. but despite this, I don't feel like I talk about him as much as I talk about Matt or even Riley.

and that's just plain sad.

disgust. I am disgusted at myself for this atrocity.

so consider this my monthly Colton Trelawney appreciation post.

Skye and Ashley host a weekly link-up called A Novel Idea to inspire inspiration, creativity, and digging deep into your writing.  this week, the prompt is: this week, make a list of 20 things about your character. they can be as simple or as unique as you want, but hopefully they will help you learn at least something new about your character and their backstory. 

1.  Colton Trelawney is a big softie. he loves hard, and he typically thinks the best of people until they prove him wrong. because he is a softie, he also has a hard time saying 'no' to others. he genuinely wants to make everybody happy--but he's learning that sometimes you have to say 'no' for the good of the one asking the question, as well as for his sake. it's tough, but it's good for him to learn this. 

2. he is the definition of gangly and awkward. Colt invented gangly and awkward. and right now, his awkwardness is at its maximum level due to his very, very unfortunate haircut. 

3. Colt de-stresses by playing video games. not extremely bloody or violent ones, because those key him up, but he enjoys solving puzzles and playing Super Smash Bros with Matt every now and then (Matt always loses). 

4. although he comes from a very intelligent family and is pretty smart himself, Colt did poorly in school. he was held back a year, so he was thirteen when he met the twins, while they were twelve.

5. Colton's parents are divorced. have been since he was seven years old. he lives with his mom, visiting his overseas father maybe once or twice a year. he misses him, but he's happy where he is.

6. after the funeral, Colt began seeing a doctor and taking anti-depressants. he doesn't talk about it much, but it's the biggest source of tension between him and Matt. Matt wants to hold onto his grief, because he feels as though he deserves the painful punishment, but Colt knew that if he let the darkness growing within him continue, he would never be able to return to who he was before. 

but this is so Colt it hurts and it makes me smile/cry so much

7. this kid loves his truck so so much. it's his baby. 

8. he is not athletic in the slightest. Matt can at least run and not be winded, and Jon was in sports throughout high school, but Colt doesn't have an athletic bone in his body. he says this is related to a traumatic dodgeball experience back in middle school, but it's mostly just because he's all legs and elbows and clumsiness. 

9. unlike Matt, who is a picky eater, Colt will eat anything. and by anything, I mean literally anything. someone feed this child. please. 

10. Colt is an only child and the proud father of a bearded lizard named Spartacus. 

yet another picture that I love bc it shows Colt's true weirdness

11. Colt has had a crush on Shiloh North for almost a year now, but he pretends it's nothing out of respect towards his best friends (who would probably murder him if they knew) and because Shiloh never really acts like she thinks of him as anything more than an older brother. if only he knew...

12. Colt cannot swim. at all.

13. he really doesn't need glasses, but he wears them because he thinks they make him look cool. he's also fond of plaid overshirts and big white t-shirts. he wears his dad's army jacket wherever he goes, because it reminds him of when he was little. he says it still smells like his dad--cigarette smoke and Old Spice mixed together. 

14.  after graduation, Colt doesn't know what he's going to do. he has no plans for the future, and that scares him. 

15. Colton is not allowed to drink coffee. or most any caffeine. he's already jittery, so why would you add an extra dose of hyper to that? 

16. blue is his favourite color. 

17. Colt is an ESFJ, which means he is a social creature, hates conflict, and tries his hardest to keep the peace. 

18. he sleeps on his stomach, with his arms palms up by his sides. Matt says it kind of looks like he did an unfortunate faceplant then fell asleep. he also snores--but not like a chainsaw--more like a quietly running motor in the background. 

19. Colt's favourite place is his room, but after that it's the old tree-house in his backyard that he and twins used to play in when they were younger. 

if you haven't noticed I have a lot of Scott/Stiles and Matt/Colt emotions. MY BROS.

20. Colt's middle name is Avery (I can't believe I never gave him a middle name before...)

love my precious tol son. he needs it. things are just getting ready to collapse on him, and it hurts him to see Matt suffering in a way that he can't help him with. so right now he needs all the lovin' he can get.

hope y'all have a great Tuesday! I'm going to drown my guilt that I'm too tired to write in good books and Min Yoongi's mixtape of fire!