Back when there were two of us, everything felt balanced. We were like Yin and Yang, my mom always said. We broke every stereotype that twins could have, but at least we fit together perfectly. Jonathon, the easy going type, smiled and charmed his way through life, except for his trigger-happy temper--once you got him mad, it was duck and run. I, on the other hand, got labeled as the sullen, rebellious type...while, in reality, I was the more laid-back of both of us. Not that I wasn't stubborn or rebellious. I was definitely more than a bit of those.
Yin and Yang.
Dark and Light.
Right and wrong.
Happiness and sadness.
Like the two ends of a seesaw, one end goes up while the other goes down. Happiness never comes to the one, while the other gets to thrive in blissful tranquility. But by what logic does the one get saddled with his unfortunate life? How can it be fair, when one rides high on his end of the seesaw, while the other drags the earth?
I never had an answer to this until now. Even now, I don't know if I've come to the right mindset. All I know is this, that I've had to change in an inexplicable way. I've split the atom, and I can't go back. I don't want to go back. And I don't want anyone else to face what I've gone through.
My name is Matthew, and this is the story of my rapid descent from the high end of the seesaw right down to the very bottom.