we made it, guys. I was ready for August before July started, and I guess that reflects how tired of school I was.
but I'm freeeeeeee now!!!!!
I managed to do very well in school this month, and I think that's mostly because with every month, I become more and more mentally present. I still have bad days and weeks where I forget things left and right, but compared to the days when I would forget my siblings names, things are so much better. last summer I couldn't even dream of doing this well in math, of all things. and I'm actually excited to take my next math class, because I managed to squeeze into my teacher's class next quarter. I'm also going to be taking human biology, and then in October, I'll be taking speech (yuck) and a culture class on Russian society. I'm pretty excited--plus, once I finish those four classes, I will be a college sophomore! and for someone who didn't think she would ever be able to go back to school, that's a huge blessing.
I got to go up and visit my best friend! we've been friends over the blogosphere for three years? four years? no matter how long, it's been one great adventure, and I'm really grateful she's a friend of mine. and I can't tell you how great it felt to hug her, finally. definitely will have to make that trip again. we went and saw the Bean, and explored Chicago, and I rode the L and busses without any anxiety, which I've never experienced before. it was such a good trip--I'm glad I can say I had an adventure at least once this summer. but right now I'm going to hide in my hole and rest.
also look at how freaking cute we are together--I miss her so much already.
|we saw this in the wild and wanted to cry. a lot.|
we are getting ready to paint my room! (by the time this is posted, it may be painted already. I don't know what the future holds!) I've moved literally everything but my bed and desk out of my room, and I actually really like how that feels. also, I did a DEEP vaccuuming of my floor. living with a cat is great, but fur and cat litter is nasty to get out of carpet. vacuuming is actually very therapeutic, if you didn't know.
this month I had some major anxiety stuff, but amazingly I found ways to get around it, overcome it, or just plain ignore it. it wasn't easy. nooooooo. but it was important for me to have those moments, where I literally had to sit myself down and say "You are making too much of this. Stop. Breath. Move on." but physically my health has been doing amazing. a year ago I wouldn't be able to take a three day road trip, then move all my furniture and paint my room the day after I get home. I couldn't even dream of that. this month also makes a year since I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, I believe; at least, a year since my doctors decided they couldn't figure out exactly what I had. and I'm so much better. still a tired human being, but better.
+ tv shows
out of all the classic animes, I've never really caught onto the Naruto craze. now, I see why all my friends speak so fondly of this show. it's great to watch when I have nothing else I want to watch; I'm invested in the characters, but not enough that I feel like I need to binge-watch all seventeen seasons at once.
OH MY GOSH. out of all the shows I watched this month, this one wins all the things. weird, slightly creepy, and reminiscent of 80s and 90s movies and Spielberg. plus--I have some major emotions over Nancy and Jonathan. and yet, I'm not angry about the way it all ends. I'm very ready for a follow-up season, but I liked how the show seemed realistic, despite its fantastic side.
Faith got me hooked on this tv show a while ago, but I can't talk enough about it. pretty sure Elliot has made me cry more than I should, him and his realistic anxiety and dissociation. mr. robot makes me hurt and confused, but in a really good way. and I can't wait for more. I also love this show because it constantly makes you ask--is this real? what's going on? you have to follow the plot; the plot doesn't guide you blindly.
|it's gifs like these that make me love Rami Malek|
this show reminds me a little of mr. robot, in the way that the "good" guys are going against the bad guys, although the "good" guys aren't always doing good things. Seo Inguk will forever be one of my favourite actors, and he plays Jungdo extremely well. I love watching scams go into play, because there's always a catch that the audience doesn't completely know--and the way it gets revealed is amazing.
|this guy is so sneaky IT HURTS|
yup, still one of my all time favourite shows. every time Netflix adds new episodes, I do a happy dance around the house, because this show just makes me feel good. even though it's about murder and death and sadness. *shrugs*
drawing! I wanted to draw so much this month, but the urge usually hit at about 10:30pm when I was supposed to be going to bed, so it didn't really happen until I finished school. I love me some lyric art--it's basically the only thing I can draw without feeling like a talent-less failure.
|TRUTH--although a lot of art involves math...|
writing has not really happened at all this month, but this past week was really REALLY good. I've decided to do some writing exercises/drills every day while I'm on break, that way I can get into the habit of writing every day when I go back to school. it's my goal to NaNo this year, but we shall see. my other focus, obviously, is the great ones. I would love to double my wordcount by the end of August--that would be about 60k. and I want to make progress in character development. right now, I just feel like Matt is hanging in this very depressed, very sad limbo.
I read a fair amount this month--not as much as I wanted to, but still enough that I was pretty happy with the dent I made on my TBR. but I'll talk more about that in my TBR post next week. here's a sneak peak of some of my favourite books!
RANDOM PINTEREST ATTACK!!
|basically my life|
|...also my life...|
|I love this style of tattoos...so pretty...|
|guess who might have a plot bunny hopping around that sprung from this nice drawing?|
july was good to me. better than I thought it would be; better than it's been in a long while. still, I'm really excited to see what August holds. and for me to start school again. after this glorious break (I woke up at 7:30 this morning and got so much done; sleeping in is great, but getting up and being responsible is even better sometimes).
|although I'll be honest this is pretty much me rn|